


Bloom and Wilt

by simply_mad



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: (this is basically Lan Wangji during those 13 years he waited), Inquiry - song, Light Angst, M/M, this novel is killing me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 12:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simply_mad/pseuds/simply_mad
Summary: Counting the seasons was easier than counting the years that had passed. That didn't mean it was easier to wait.





	Bloom and Wilt

**Author's Note:**

> So...I've been rewatching ep's 4 and 5 for like a week and I've cried so much for these boys? So I thought what a better way to hurt myself more than by writing something sad (T∀T )/
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this at like 3 am, and English is not my first language so I apologize if there's any mistakes!
> 
> I read the novel in English and so far there hasn't been much info about the 13 years of waiting so all of this comes from my imagination of what happened; there's a brief mention to some events but not detailed enough to be considered spoilers. I know Lan SiZhui would've been a kid back then and he still is in this, just very observant. There's also something about what I would've loved to happen that night in the Cloud Recesses.
> 
> Enjoy! (´∀`)

In the jingshi in the Cloud Recesses, the sound of the guqin was long.   
  
It was 'Inquiry'   
  
Despite night hunting just having ended, Lan WangJi remained awake. Way past curfew. He could feel his arms growing heavier the more he played, his fingertips starting to go numb but he didn't stop.   
  
Even though months had passed he couldn't bring himself to stop. While some out there kept celebrating, he kept playing and hoping for an answer. So far none had come, but people were still too weary, the Clans were still too tense, they made their calls frequently but just like with Lan WangJi, there was no answer.   
  
Months had passed and people and some cultivators still celebrated the fall of the Yiling Patriarch.   
  
Wei WuXian   
  
Months had passed and Lan WangJi continued to play.   
  


* * *

  
Autumn in the Cloud Recesses was a beautiful sight.   
  
Lan WangJi watched a group of young cultivators trying to gather the fallen leaves in a pile only to have it blown away mere seconds later by the wind, adding a few more leaves every time. The threes around them in tones of yellows and oranges making a beautiful background.  
  
He closed his eyes and kept playing. The sound of 'Inquiry' traveled across the grounds, making a few disciples turn his way. It was impossible not to look. Lan WangJi played every note with (utmost) care, it didn't matter if there was no spirit, he'd always put his heart into it. And yet, it made a sad image.  
  
A shadow fell upon him and Lan WangJi opened his eyes, placed a hand over the vibrating cords to silence them and looked up. Before him stood Lan SiZhui.  
  
'HanGuang Jun', He made a small inclination with his head and WangJi returned with a small bow of his own. Lan SiZhui turned to look towards the mountains before he spoke again. 'Lately, Second Master Lan has played Inquiry quite a lot...'   
  
'Mhm'. He had no other answer.   
  
3 years had passed and he kept playing. He spent more time Night hunting than anyone else, went to every call of help in regards of any spirit and played Inquiry if he had the chance. He was hopeful despite how many times he had gotten the wrong answer. Not the one he was looking for. And even if Inquiry was meant to be practiced to be perfected, Lan WangJi knew he didn't need to play it that much. His technique was already so clean.  
  
Lan SiZhui turned his gaze back to him, a soft smile on his lips and eyes shining brightly. WangJi got the impression that, despite being this young, maybe he knew there was more to all his playing.  
  
'May I practice with Second Master Lan?'   
  
'Mhm'   
  


* * *

  
The 6th winter came by just like the others, suddenly and harshly, covering the grounds with heavy snow and bringing freezing winds that managed to slip inside every building.   
  
The jingshi was no exception. Lan WangJi could feel his fingers growing numb, the tips turning redder and redder as he played. He wouldn't be surprised if they started bleeding at some point, but until that happened he'd continue.   
  
The 6th winter, just like the others, brought cold and snow, a heavy feeling in his heart and no answer at all. 

* * *

  
It was pouring outside.   
  
It was that kind of rain that brought back memories of a night a long time ago. A harmless fight beneath a big moon, a slippery roof, a jar of Emperor's Smile swinging from long fingers, and a wide, somewhat childish smile shining in the darkness.  
  
If he ignored the memory of the consequences that event provoked back then and the reason that brought said consequences, WangJi could almost call the whole ordeal a childish moment.  
  
He was sitting just inside enough for the roof to cover him from the rain falling over the gardens. His guqin rested on his lap. He brought his hand down and played just two notes.  
  
_Wei Ying_  
  
The name had a light tone on the cords, it was as if just those two notes could perfectly represent the personality of the name they carried.   
  
WangJi could easily play Inquiry, he had been doing so a lot more frequently for the past 9 years. But playing these two notes was different. He saved them for himself, for these times where it was just him and his memories.   
  
The rain picked force, bringing thunder with it. Lan WangJi played the notes over and over again, listened to the lightness of the name becoming stronger every time he called it.  
  
_Wei Ying_  
  
_Wei Ying_  
  
_Wei Ying_  
  
The thunder above swallowed the name along with the hidden desperation on the strings.   
  
There was no answer.

* * *

  
Lan WangJi observed a few bunnies run towards him before sitting down, a small black one immediately jumping to his lap.  
  
He carefully placed his guqin beside him, one of his hands idly stroking the chords while the other one ran softly through the bunny's fur. He looked up to the tree above him, the flowers starting to bloom once again.   
  
He closed his eyes and leaned against the three trunk, the fingers over the guqin playing a few light notes. The last few weeks had been tiring, with long periods of night hunting and long distances to travel, always following any chaos that arose because of spirits. He could feel the tiredness and tension from those few weeks finally sinking deep within his bones, the results from the hunting leaving a heavy feeling in his heart that he had been pushing aside until now.  
  
That's where the bunnies helped. 11 years had passed with no results and yet he still came back here to find peace among these small creatures and these big fields.   
  
He could clearly remember that day in the Library Pavilion. His name being called so casually, two bunnies jumping around and leaving ink everywhere and a ringing laugh. That's what he remembered the most.   
  
The bunnies reminded him of what he was looking for. What he was hoping to get back some day. And even if every year that had passed with no answer felt like a rock over his shoulders, he didn't stop. The bunnies healed the heaviness, both in his heart and the one he felt physically, he could always find his reason back here.   
  
He closed his eyes and started playing. He could feel the bunny in his lap falling asleep with his slow stroking while his free hand ran over the chords. He knew the notes by heart just as he knew his guqin, he didn't need to look at it.   
  
As long as he lived, and as long as the bunnies were there, he would always remember that day. 

* * *

  
The small city was alive despite being so late, the summer breeze inviting everyone to stay outside. The streets were almost full of people, kids kept running past them and the small restaurants still held quite a number of clients.   
  
It was that time of the year again.  
  
Lan WangJi felt as if there was a knot in his stomach, as if his heart had jumped to his throat and he couldn't help but turn his head every time he heard that one name.   
  
'Time flies by so fast doesn't it?' Lan XiChen said beside him. He was looking at a group of kids holding kites running down the street, 'It's really been so long...'   
  
Lan WangJi wanted to argue about that. Time didn't go any faster, if anything, he had felt these last 12 years as a whole lifetime. He wanted to tell him that yes, it had been so long already, that he felt the weight of every year, month and day a lot heavier than anyone else.   
  
He wanted to tell him about how he had been carrying the last 12 years over his shoulders. He wanted to tell him about the many times he had played 'Inquiry' and how desperate he felt for not having an answer yet.  
  
He wanted to call that name out loud.  
  
He wanted _him_ to come back home.  
  
'Brother is right, it's been so long' 

* * *

  
Mo Village was small. A lot smaller than many others and yet it had attracted a strong spirit. Strong enough for the younger disciples to call for help.  
  
Lan WangJi watched the last traces of fireworks disappear as he rushed towards the Village. He could feel his guqin softly rising and falling against his back with every step he took.  
  
He heard the fierce corpses before even entering the Mo Residence, he climbed up to the roof and played.   
  
'HanGuang Jun!' He watched the fierce corpses freeze with the first notes and watched Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi looking up at him. But he kept glancing around the grounds, looking for the responsible of the 3 fierce corpses.   
  
The younger disciples thanked him once he was back down, and Lan SiZhui seemed to have remembered something suddenly.   
  
'If it hadn't been for Master Mo we-' he stopped suddenly to turn and look around him, seeming confused. 'He's gone...'   
  
So there had been someone else...   
  
Lan WangJi couldn't help the small intrigue and hope that bloomed in his heart, spreading through his body with a bit of eagerness.   
  
'Stay in pairs. Look around and make sure everyone's okay.' The two younger disciples bowed to him and turned to do as said.   
  
Lan WangJi ran his fingers softly down the guqin before turning around and going his way. 

* * *

  
He had to get there before anyone else. Before any other clan. Before Jiang Cheng.   
  
The mountain was dark but he didn't slow down. Any fierce corpse dwelling around could be dealt with later on, but right now he had to get there.   
  
He had heard the flute.  
  
And it was an awful sound. Not the one he remembered but he had to see it with his own eyes. He could hear a fierce corpse, could hear the mountain 'goddess' moving and cultivators exclaiming a name with surprise.  
  
Ghost General   
  
Wen Ning   
  
And then Lan WangJi saw him.  
  
Mo XuanYu looked very young. Shorter than WangJi and probably a few more cultivators, with a long messy hair and a childish face and yet he stood strong in the midst of disaster. He held a very poor substitute of a flute and still Wen Ning responded fiercely.   
  
And then he heard it.  
  
A song no one else could know. A dark cave and a monster, the sweet scent of medicinal herbs and a head on his lap, a lot of blood and a horrible smell. And a song. Eerily reverberating through the dark tunnels   
  
Their song.   
  
And suddenly he was right beside Mo XuanYu. Wei Ying.   
  
Jiang Cheng was there as well, hand rising towards Zidian, but Lan WangJi had waited for so long and he was already reaching for his guqin.   
  
_Wei Ying_  
_Wei Ying_  
_Wei Ying_  
  
He would recognize that tone anywhere. The challenge behind the childish prodding and the reason behind every comment. He could recognize the playfulness hiding away a bigger scheme.   
  
_Wei Ying_  
_Wei Ying_  
  
'I'm bringing him back to Lan Sect'   
  
He had waited 13 years. He was not leaving him again.

* * *

  
He awoke at the same hour, the sun hadn't risen just yet and the room was still a bit dark. It was all the same.  
  
Except for the weight over his chest and the soft puffs of air against his neck.   
  
Lan WangJi looked down. A still asleep Mo XuanYu rested there, cheek pressed against where his heart beat and he felt slightly relieved that Mo XuanYu couldn't really assimilate the rate it was reaching.   
  
_Wei Ying._ This was Wei Ying. And WangJi knew it.  
  
He felt the weight of those 13 years of waiting suddenly lifting up from his shoulders, the knot that had been slowly tightening around his lungs and heart through all those years slowly unwinding. He took a deep breath. It felt like he could finally breathe again, as if all this time he hadn't really been doing it.   
  
He felt all those feelings that had piled up deep inside him vanishing, only leaving a huge relief and strong affection and the  _need_ to protect this person.   
  
He had waited 13 years. He was not losing him again.   
  
Even if the world turned against him, he was not letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> Ayee! Comments and/or kudos are greatly appreciated! (´∀`)
> 
> My tumblr is simply-m-a-d if you wanna stop by! (come scream with me)
> 
> EDIT: There's a Russian translation now! TuT https://archiveofourown.org/works/15742824


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